


been trying to stay out, but there's something in you

by bisexualbluesargent



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Dream Pack Adam AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 09:56:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10682931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbluesargent/pseuds/bisexualbluesargent
Summary: Somewhere in his mind, Adam is retracing the events that led up to being here.





	been trying to stay out, but there's something in you

**Author's Note:**

> in which adam gets pulled into the dream pack and is constantly confused (title from new ways by daughter)

It's dark outside, and Adam Parrish was not expecting this.

Everything has been lights and smoke and bass and Kavinsky's hands on the back of his jeans, Prokopenko whispering in his ear, a roll of Adam's eyes at the idea. Adam never wanted this. He thought he was going to be more than this, when he started going to Aglionby. He's tired of fast cars. Of money spent on cocaine. _I_ , he thinks bitterly, _should be hanging out with Richard Gansey._ He hates himself for the thought. _Or Henry Cheng_ , his mind suggests, not any quieter. Not Joseph fucking Kavinsky and his pack of dogs. Not leaning on a Mitsubishi, smoking a cigarette that he'd never actually seen in a store.

But it's dark outside and he didn't even see Ronan Lynch pull up.

He didn't expect the way that Kavinsky raises his eyes when he sees those headlights, the way Swan scoffs as he watches him do it, the surge of faint jealousy inside him and wondering who it's actually directed towards. And he didn't realize the implications until Kavinsky grins, white designer sunglasses still on, pretentious in the terrible way only he could be.

"Looks like Dick let his dog loose for the night," he drawls.

Adam's expression doesn't change. It's not like he hasn't noticed Ronan Lynch; he's so much that it's hard not to. Sharp. All edges. Confident in the way Adam has always secretly wanted to be. Returning Adam's occasional stares with scathing looks in Latin class. He's slamming the door, now. Adam is struck by the silence that follows him when he walks over. You would think that he would make everything loud. Wild. But everyone is still howling and the music is still playing, and Lynch cuts through it all and you can see Kavinsky leaning into it. Adam stares at his buzzcut. He can't decide what he's feeling.

And then he's there, making a snide remark and Kavinsky is sneering and offering him something and Adam is still staring, because it's dark and he's full of energy and he's never felt this hungry before, not even a few weeks ago when he had just moved into that fucking church and had had nothing in his fridge for days and he wonders how he looks like now, subconsciously pinning himself against the car because Ronan is taking up all the space. There's something red in his gut that he can't place but before he can push it down he feels eyes on him.

"Parrish," Lynch says simply, and Adam almost gulps because he can't keep himself from noticing his eyelashes. Almost.

"Lynch," Adam says, all casual. And Kavinsky still has his glasses on but he can see something flash behind them.

"Not expecting to see trailer trash here tonight, huh?" Kavinsky stage whispers into Lynch's ear.

"Fuck off," says Lynch, suddenly, and Adam feels like he's missing something.

"He always asks about you." Kavinsky's voice is mocking. "Always asking where Parrish is. Why he's hanging out with someone like me. He's here now, Lynch, what you gonna do?"

Lynch's expression is hard to read. His eyes are searching Adam for something and he watches him as he tosses the cigarette on the ground. Adam feels uneasy.

The silence goes for a moment too long and then Lynch is grabbing Adam's arm and pulling him towards his car, Kavinsky calling _Aw baby, come on_ after them in that smug voice of his. "Come for a drive," says Lynch, voice rough, and Adam thinks that he might be drunk because none of this is making any sense.

Adam Parrish hates surprises, usually. But he's in Lynch's car, not speaking, straining to listen to the lyrics of his electronica turned low on the speakers. It sounds different than Kavinsky's music. It sounds quiet, tires on pavement mixed with a revelation. Adam doesn't know what to do with this.

Lynch is pulling over. Turning the engine off. He glances at Adam's hands before meeting his eyes. There's something different about the way he swallows, like he's nervous. Adam catches himself; Ronan Lynch isn't someone who would get nervous. Somewhere in his mind, Adam is retracing the events that led up to being here. He's not sure this isn't a dream. Is it a dream?

"You always look at me," says Lynch, abruptly.

"What?" Adam's voice is quieter than he'd like. What happened to the Adam standing next to Skov and Jiang and Prokopenko? What happened to drugs and lips curling and engines rumbling too loudly? Adam is lost. And the engine is off.

"You're always staring at me in class." Lynch says this like it means something. It means something. Adam is scrambling around in his thoughts trying to find the meaning. Through the corner of his eye he can see the stars through the windshield. He has the realization that he doesn't know where they are.

Ronan is suddenly very close.

When Adam started getting tugged into Kavinsky's parties, he wasn't sure what he was playing at. There must've been something he wanted. Some joke everyone was in on. Because for the first few weeks of Aglionby, he sat in the back of class and tried to look alive and hoped that these sons of politicians with new uniforms wouldn't notice the kid who lived in a trailer park and couldn't get rid of the bags under his eyes. But Prokopenko wouldn't leave him alone and he ended up smoking with them every weekend, laughing at their crude jokes. He hated how it made him feel important, made him feel like someone was noticing him. Because everyone thought he was part of Kavinsky's group now, and they stayed away from him even more pointedly than before, if that was possible. He told himself that he liked being ignored, because that made it easier and it was rarely ever easy for Adam Parrish. And maybe he liked driving around in expensive cars and getting high and racing past midnight. Maybe he didn't care about the disappointed looks that students like Richard Gansey III gave him. Maybe he was that kind of Aglionby boy. He wanted that. He wanted this.

He wanted Ronan to kiss him.

It was hard to believe that the feeling was reciprocal.

Ronan is gentle. Careful, even. Everything that Adam had assumed about Ronan Lynch doesn't seem to matter any more. A memory of him and Kavinsky shoving their hips together flashes through his mind. In the memory, Adam turns away. Now, Adam is being kissed by Ronan Lynch and he's kissing him back. Adam had woken up this morning, so tired, so exhausted. And now, now, now. He feels known. He feels alive.


End file.
